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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Tak Bisa

During our last karaoke session, and you sang a song from Slank, entitled "Ku Tak Bisa". And there's the lyrics,

Ku tak bisa,
Jauh...jauh...darimu...

Please know that, I can't stand being far away from you. This longing is killing me.

Oh God, I miss him.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Longing

It's all started with a simple question on how to measure a tank, then it continued to a teasing in lunch table. You called me fat, how rude..but that's the way you are, and I'm not offended.

Then you start asking me out. To karaoke. Out of nowhere, and we're not even that close pun. I like your voice. I like how you teasingly sang the songs to me. I like the way you blow your smoke up to the air.

I like how you came searching me to help you with your work. I like how actually it's never a work.

I like how clean your car is. I like how you look nervous driving when I'm on your side. I like how you looked sad when the last night we went out together. I like how you smile shyly when I said 'hi' to you.


I like you too much. Too much it hurts.
You, I miss you.
Terribly.

Tak Tertahan


I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
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I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
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I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
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I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

I miss you terribly. I want to be back in Kerteh. Back in my desk, where I could sit near you, sniffing your perfume mixed with you blue Winston ciggs smells. I miss you so much. I know you don't feel the same, but I miss you. Please text me, please talk to me, please just please show some signs.

God, please help me. I'm hopeless now, I'm helpless. Please help me, oh God. Ease my heart. I just miss him so much it hurts. I want to cry now. Please God, please help ease my heart.

Friday, December 14, 2012

I Really Like You

Well, you haven't see the gifts yet. But i do hope that you'd love it. It's sad to think that I can't see your handsome face ever again. And prolly, I'll stop writing about you here. Or prolly stop writing altogether until I've got some other muse(s) to write.

Take care there, you. Hopefully, you'll miss me. And don't ever forget about me.

Do keep in touch, please.

"Keep In Touch"

Is it a promise? I hope so.

121212

It was a perfect date, and it was our last date. I was unhappy and you looked the same too. I don't have the hearts to leave you. But I do cherish our every moments together. I really am hoping that you won't forget me.


I love you. If only you knew.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Date, Date!

"Bila Bella nak belanja ni?"
"Bila abang free?"
"Hari hari pun free" and I think I saw a naughty smile.
"Esok, boleh?"
"Boleh" you answered shyly.
"Okay"

And I swear to God that I'm so happy I can't do my work cause I can't focus! Oh, youuu I want you so very badly!

Thank you Allah, for listening to my prayer. Alhamdulillah :)

Dialogues

"Mana kerja saya?"
"Saya dah bagi kat abang, kan?"
"Oh, dah bagi eh?"


And there's the smile. Oh.
Sorry, I'm obsessed with this man.

Wait

You came yesterday. But I was more surprised with what you have to say,

"Bella kata nak belanja, tapi takdak pon,"

I don't know that you really mean it. I don't know that you've waited. I did wait for your text!


But I'm happy nevertheless, to know that you're looking forward to have a date with me.
Hihi.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Beg

Please ya Allah, I want him to be the one for me. Amin, amin, amin.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Hm

My heart aches for him. My heart wants him so very badly. I want him so very badly. I just want to know whether he feels the same. I want to know whether he wants me too, the way I really want him.

Oh God, I really like him. Please let him be mine. Please, ya Allah.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Care.

"Lecturer Bella datang bila? Esok eh?"

I'm surprised that you asked me this question. I thought you don't bother at all.

If only we could have a date together. Just the two of us. If only.

Please,

Ya Allah, please grant my wish. He is my only wish.

Memory

"Amira Nabilla, ini dia fail awak,"

Oh my God, honestly I was surprised when you came and gave me the files. I'm sorry for being such a nuisance. I'm supposed to help you with your work. But you just do every single things that I've asked you. I lost my words for your actions. Thank you, you.

But, what surprises me more is when you remember my name! You remember my full name! Oh you, oh you, you've melted my heart. I like you so much, so very much.

I don't care what stories they told me about you. I just want you. Ya Allah, please grant my prayer. Amin, amin, aminnn.

Date.

I've told you that I could only treat you. Only you, and no one else. I know that that got you thinking.

Please ask me out to Kuantan. Let's have a date, just the two of us.


Please.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Wanting

You talked to me! He talked to me today! I'm so happy! Oh God, I wanna marry him. Jodohkanlah aku dengannya, ya Allah.

Amin, amin.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Love.

I love you.


But I know we're not going anywhere.
:'(

Sad Realization

I think I'm only syok sendiri.

Hm.

Back

You're back. More mixed signals. And I don't think you'll be here during my last week.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Lost

Seriously, where are you? It's been a long five days since I last saw you. I'm starting to miss you so much.

Yours

The feelings I get when I smelled your perfume mixed with your blue Winston ciggs.


Hmmph.

Giddy

Hihi.

He added me on facebook. He found my facebook. He added me. I'm so happy. Even my sv didn't add me on his facebook. But he did. He added me to his friendlist in facebook. Oh God I'm really so happy that he added me. These past few weeks I keep wishing that he would add me in facebook. And now he did.

He add me in facebook. He really did.


Hihi.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Wishes And Plans

I always believe in God's plan. I don't know what He's planning for me, but all I know is it's for our own goods. Like when I had my break up with my ex, it was what I need the most. I don't need the relationship. I just want them because of reasons.

And then you, the sequences of our meet ups is so carefully plan by Him. And I was thankful, and really grateful. Plus, almost my every wish of you did came true! Yes, most of them! Seriously.

First, my break up with my ex, then you started talking to me. You knew my name before you even bother talking to me pun. And then you asked me to karaoke, out of nowhere! We're not that close pun for you to ask me such question! And then you told me about your guitar, you gave me your works, you start getting comfy around me and I, being myself start taking advantage for every chances to gaze upon your beautifully handsome face.

And then the texts and whatsapp and the call that I've missed. And now the facebook.

I'm seriously hoping that these would lead us to somewhat a better future.


You're my only wish. And you still are.

I Miss You

You're not around today. Maybe you had training, maybe you're not well. Well, whatever the reasons are, I hope you're doing fine. I miss you terribly. I miss your dashing smile the most.

Love.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

"Hi,"

I can't get rid the picture of you smiling and smirking with a daze and adorably confused eyes of yours when I first stepped into your car.

I said 'Hi', and you're like, 'Hi' with a tone of a child first getting candies from a stranger

It was adorable. Too adorable, and handsome and I've melted again (I even think that I've evaporated into the air). Oh you, oh you, what have you done to my heart?

Reasons

People say you don't need reasons to fall in love. But, I always wanted to beg to differ. I think we need to know why we love/like the person we fall for instead of just falling.

But it was before I met you. You're different. You're wonderful. If people ask me, why do I like you so much I'd probably stand there clueless and speechless because honestly, I don't even know why I like you.

Come to think of it, I don't even like you at the first place. What's with your fierce face, the way you never acknowledge me in the office, your attitude as told by the guys and with me witnessing it myself, that's not something worth to fall for.

But I fell anyway.

Now I know how does it feel not knowing why you like someone. It's a very wonderful feeling (even you don't know how I feel and probably you don't feel the same) but anyhow, I like these feelings - whatever they are.

I never felt like this with anyone. I've always know why I like someone, or why I wanna stay with them. But with you, it's different. Totally different.

All I know now is, I want to make you happy. I want to be the person who you can count on, the person you confide in, the person who'll always be there for you. I want to make you feel loved, and safe. I want to take care of you and your heart. And most importantly, I want to always be the reason behind your dashing smiles. That smile that has melted my heart for a countless times. I want to earn that smile, and make it mine. Just mine.

Random

I was listening to my songs when you came and kick my table. I know you're coming but I was shocked anyway. You surprised me! And then you smiled that handsome smile of yours, and I even forgot that I'm mad at you for being bipolar.

Oh God, I like him so much I want him to be mine.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Bipolar

Honestly, what is wrong with you? You're suddenly being cold to me like I've done something wrong to you. And what makes it worse is I don't even know why. You're okay before, what's up with the fierce face? Just two days ago we went karaoke together, having dinner, and driving around in your car, and now, wow? Like you don't even know me pun.

I'll give you benefit of doubt. Probably u're just stress about you work. But whatever. I'm having my share of PMS too, you know.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Nyum

You look so handsomely masculine with that coverall and your wet hair. I like you so much. Very much.

Smell

I like your smell. You always smell nice. The combination of your cigs with your perfume, it never fail to make me drool.

Hmmph.

Makbul

1. Ride in your car
2. Late night talks (okay not so much of talking because you're already sleepy)
3. Your cigarettes' brand
4. You, texting me



Alhamdulillah, ya Allah. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Syukur 21

Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah, ya Allah! :D

He texted me!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Sad Kitty

I don't wanna run away from you! I want you! I'd rather sit in the office doing your work, listening to your jabberings and random rantings than going to site. Yes, that's how much you mean to me.

Please, please don't give up on me and please cheer up. Smile to me. You don't smile to me pun today :(

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Over

You told my friend that I'm sort of running away from you. If only you know how happy I was at the opportunity of helping you doing your work.

My chance is now zero. I should start meeting therapist to help me forget you.

Wishful Thinking

I wish to spend my weekend with you. You'd take me to the beach or simply just driving around in your car. Or maybe it could be a dinner with just the two of us talking heart to heart with a bit of eye staring contest.

Oh, but that's just a dream and it would never happen. Imma sad kitty :(

Wanting

I want you to be mine. Oh God, please please and please grant my prayer ya Allah.

I know his attitude, but I just want him :/

A Stubborn Heart

If my technician were right, (and I hope he is) I hope you could show more visible signs. Because I really want you, despite whatever they say about your attitude. I still like you.

Moodsie

I don't know that you could effect my mood this much. When I don't see you for a day, I felt empty. It's not like I can't live without you, but life with you sounds more promising and even better.

A Question,

Do you miss me?

Cause I miss you. So much. Very much.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Try

One of the technician told me that you're actually trying to 'adjust' me.


I really, really, really hope that he was right.

The Stare

I like when we're both staring into each other's eyes. I like it when you stared into my eyes. I never know you could hold eye contact for that long.

Stare into my eyes, and don't ever stop.
I want you so very badly.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Scandalous

I heard about your previous fling. Wow! Now I know your taste. But never mind, I'm still very comfortable with myself.

How I wish I am as lucky as her.

Missing

Today I talked to you first thing in the morning. Then we had a little chat while we both went down to the technicians rooms, and then you teased me when I was helping one of my colleague with his resume.

In the afternoon, I waited for you but you're having a meeting.

Now I miss you. So much.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Moody

Too many awkward moments with you today. And yes, I do feel gloomy. Maybe because I just realized that I have only so little time to be with you.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Confused

Too many bad signs, too many good signs. Now I'm confused and my heart ache. I don't know what to hope for anymore, but I'm still kinda happy when you called my name just now.

Sigh. This is none of my bussiness. I should let God decide.

Friday, November 16, 2012

High

Hopefully I'll get to see you, tomorrow. I've started missing you so very badly.

Reference

Referring to post below, I'm scared of myself. I really sound like a creep.

What have you done to me, you?

Signs Signs Signs

Hey, maybe I'm being overexcited but did you know about the news yet?

Just in case, I'd just want to tell you that ... we might have a bigger and better chance of being together now.


Hihi.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

I Like Being With You

I do. I really do.

Berat

"Dia takpe la, berat dia 75 kg, macam abang ni, 100 kg, macam mana nak kejar dia?" One of the technician said to me while referring to you.

And suddenly you said,

"Bukan 75 kg lah, 72 kg"


Okay, I may be obsessed but you sound so cute like that. We all know you're not heavy. 3 kg is nothing pun. So sensitive lah you, so adorably handsome!

Rindu

Ni baru cuti 5 hari. Macam mana kalau lepas habis intern nanti? I'm going to miss you so much.


Sadly, you prolly wouldn't know about it, or you won't care. Kan?

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Tell Tale

People say, if you want things to work out between you and your crush, keep it quiet.

I've kept quiet about you for about two and half months now but few days ago, I've told two people about you; my mom and my best friend.

I still hope we can still work out. I'm being a bit supertitious and paranoid right now.

How We Started Talking

June:
I saw you in the office and I kinda not like you. I once thought you're a technician but turned out I was wrong. You're a super engineer.

July:
I saw you at the BOG. You're calling me 'adik' and you asked me to help pick up the permit to work that flew from where it was hang.
And then you even borrowed my camera for you to take pictures in the workshop. You're fierce and I'm kinda scared of you.

August:
You asked me to help you with the report for cooling tower pump. You don't bother asking my name. You just want your job done. I still don't really like you at this time.

September:
You jokingly (but kind of fiercely, too) scolded me and my friend for watching a movie on one of the computer in the room while waiting for our work. I don't really give a damn during that time. But secretly I've been falling for you during this time.

October:
You knew my name and you helped me with my problems. I was surprised when you called my name. Wow. You know my name!
And we had lunch together, with some other people too.

November:
We went karaoke with your friends and my friend.
You started being friendly and joking around.
You sang to me. Let's not forget that.
You asked me to help you with your work, which prolly the last thing I thought you'd do cause you always look superior and independent. But that was a good thing anyway cause in that way, I could be closer to you somehow.
Oh, and let's not forget our conversation in the room. You're smiling and laughing and being all charming.


Oh, what a chronology we have here. Hopefully it would end with us finally getting end up together. Amin!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Answers

Andy Warhol once quoted:

"As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it."


But I could never stop wanting you. How can I get you, then?

Every

Every things I read, remind me of you.
Every love songs I heard, would always remind me of you
I just miss you alot.

Pray

When I have crush, I usually pray for them to be happy with whoever they are with, even if it's not with me. The only thing I want is for them to be happy.

But with you, I would always pray for us to be together. I want you to be happy with me. I want to be the one who could make you happy. But I don't know, you're so complicated.

It's A One Sided Love

It's bad, the fact that I can't take the thought of you off my mind.

I bet you don't even think of me, at all.

Let's

So hey, they said we just need to find a person who can make us happy and then we can be happy forever.

If it's only that simple.

So, hey. You've made me happy, can we just be together? I promise I'd do anything to make you happy, too.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Help

I was looking for you to help me with the work you've given me. But then you look so fierce and unfriendly today. I was scared. But then you came and asking me if I needed any help, and when I said yes, you gladly helped me. You sit on the handle of my chair and honestly, I think that was very lovely of you to do that. I wasn't awkward at all, instead I feel very comfortable. With you, everything is comfortable. I like you so much. And that act with the sweets, oh. You've killed me with it.

Missus

I miss you already. What have you done to me? I can't stop thinking of you. I miss you so much. I can't wait for Sunday to come.

Sweet

I like it how you came up to my table to ask me how I was doing and just like that you took one of the sweets that I put on my table. I like the fact that you acted all comfortable around me, that made me feel good and pretty awesome.

By the way, I think you're the one who ate the sweets I left on my table yesterday, right?

Five

I'll be gone today. I won't be able to meet you since I'd be on my holiday. I will miss you, I think I would and that depress the hell out of me. If only we could keep in touch. I would really love to have a conversation with you.

But no biggie, I'll be back again next Sunday and hopefully I'll get to see your bright, dashing, and handsome smile.
Oh.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Love

I feel calm around you, and if I were not with you, I would miss you and I won't feel good.

God, why I like you too much I don't understand.

Welcome To Jamrock

And you've rocked my world.

Stay, please.

:)

I pray everyday for us.

Alhamdulillah

Ya Allah, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!
I am so grateful to you for everything that happened today. He made me really happy! He took care of me, he showed his care (even I know he's joking) and I really love his attention. Ya Allah, I really like this man, ya Allah, please grant my prayer.

Amin amin.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Perhaps

When I was lost,
about my feelings to you,
I went asking for some signs from Him.
When I was losing hope,
I asked him to put you away from me,
So I won't think about you,
So my feelings for you would diminish slowly,
And yesterday,
I finally realized that I maybe daydreaming,
That I'm so pathetic for wanting you so badly that I forgot you don't even know how I feel about you.
And I've asked Him again, for signs.
That if you're the one, let us be together, please ease our way,
And if you're not, put you away from me, and from my mind.

And today,
You gave me work, you talked, making jokes,

You smiled that handsome smile, and you laughed, too.
I feel so blessed.

Youuu

I hate the fact that I keep thinking of you. I hate the fact that I always want to meet you. I don't like it that I always hoping that I could meet you somewhere, anywhere. No. That's why I need to get rid of from my system. I don't know whether you're the one for me. I hope you are, but it seems impossible.

I am pathetic and sad.

No.

I must forget you. I need and have to forget you. This obsession has got to stop.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Row

Two nights. I've dreamt of you for two nights in a row.

God, please. Is this a sign?

Sigh,

I don't know why I am expecting a text or whatsapp from you. It's not that you have my number or anything.

But I know I'm not your type, and I could only wish for you from afar.

Angau

I hope and pray that I am the one who can open up your heart. I seriously can't stop thinking of you.

Forever

You're on my mind all the time. It seems that I can't stop thinking of you. I even dreamt of you last night, and I our conversation yesterday keep replaying on my mind.

This is dangerous. Way too dangerous.

Oh God, please show me the way. Is this temporary crush, or is this real?

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Only

Can I say that I honestly think that you're the one?

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Signs

We talked today. We talked for about an hour, and it was a record for both of us.

He came with intention to tease me regarding our previous karaoke session when I sang the song 'Bila Cinta Didusta' by Screen. And there I was playing Scrabble with my favourite technician. He surprised me when he stopped and talked to me. He even helped with the game, too! And then we talk and talk, talking about gilrfriend, about his life, his student life, foods, choice of music, instruments he's playing, his plan of going to islands for diving, and a lot more. That was absolutely fantastic to know that much about the person I truly like the most.

I don't know if it's a sign from Him, but somehow I feel blessed and I feel like God is answering my prayer. Ya Allah, I really feel happy with this man, I want him to be mine. I pray that he'd be mine. Ya Allah, if he's the one, please show me the signs and if he's not, please make my heart stop liking him. I like him too much and I want him too much that I am afraid of what I'm capable of.

All Around

I don't only like you, I honestly think I've started to fall in love with you.

Thank you Allah for these wonderful feelings.

Dumbstruck

These feelings get stronger. And just by looking at you, I'll smile like an idiot all day long.

Ringtones

Whenever I listened to the song that you made as your ringtone, I'll always get the giddy feelings. I guess I like you that much, or probably too much.

You don't know how happy I was when I finally get to know what song you're using as your ringtone. I always love the song, like how I always like you.

Pleads

I need to remind myself not to be greedy. Yes, I want you. I want you all for myself. I want us to happen. I want us to be real. I want to write about you while you are with me. I want to be happy with you, because I know insyAllah, I will. You can make me happy, insyAllah.

I like you. I like you too much. I like how you make me feel. I like these feelings. I like how I feel when I'm with you.

Ya Allah, please make us happen. If he's the one for me, please show me the way. And if he's not, please stop these feelings and please stray him away from me so I will be not living in my dreams anymore.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

You!

I, I love you like a love song, baby!

Charmed

I can't keep my eyes off you, and I do feel comfortable around you. You, I really hope that we're meant to be.

Gf

I think you've already have a girlfriend. But I can take it. You deserve to be with someone who'd give up the world to be with you. Because you are worth it.

I like you so much I want to say I love you.

Sing Song

U sang a song and you change the name to my name. You sang the song to me. This may be nothing to you, but it means a lot to me.

:)
I know this is not the occasion that I should be thankful for, but still I thanked you, God for the awesome experience today. I get to be closer to the person I like the most and I am sure of my feelings. I don't feel like wanting to be somebody else and I don't have the pressure to impress him. I like him so much. I am sure.

Thank you Allah, Alhamdulillah.

Hunch

I really like it when I always have the butterflies in my stomach. That means I'll get to see you. Like just now. I get to be with you. You're awesome, you're handsome.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Senyum

Smile to me,
Smile for me,
Just do whatever,
You've made me happy.

Thank you, God.

Love

In the morning, I saw you dancing the chicken dance. And in the evening, you said hi to me. Asking me to go karaoke with you tonight.

Oh lovely, lovely. Thank you, God. These are blessings. Thank you, thank you.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Dance Dance

You look lovely dancing that chicken dance. I know you're not frigid.

I really really like you.

Possible

I like you too much I think I've started to fall in love with you.

Thank You,

God is good, and you're lovely. I would like to have your smile, all for myself for the rest of my life.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Hihihi

I'm all giddy up today. You talked to me. Many times too! You remember my yellow shoes, (but hey, there's no ribbon! Lol) and you asked me out to karaoke with you and your friends. Yeah, I know you wanted to get to know my friends, or probably her - the new engineer. But no biggie, as long as I'm with you, I'm all good.

You really can't take your eyes off a beautiful lady, can you?

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Hm :(

I should stop liking you. I think it's so pathetic for me to like someone like you. But then your smile,

Your smile killed me.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Another Wish

I want to be the lucky girl who gets to wake up to your smile every morning.

You do have a very lovely smile, you know that? I bet you don't.

Tikus Tikus

You surprised me when you told him you don't use mouse. You sound so cute when you told him that. And you look absolutely handsome today. I still can't forget your smile.

Thanks for the mouse. Don't worry, it's safe with me.

Mr Nice Guy

I honestly think that you are a nice person. I don't say this because I like you, but I truly think that you are a warm, and a kind person.

Yeah, I know what they said about you. But I think maybe you have this attitude which you like to brag. Or maybe you just wanna share, but somehow you sound like you're boasting. I don't know.

But I do believe that we're human, and we're not perfect. Neither do you. Anyway, I like you nevertheless.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Wajah Kesayangan Hamba

Then I realized how I miss your smile.

Hello honey, it's really good to see you alive, and kicking. You look handsomer, or maybe it's just me.

Nevertheless, I'm happy to see you again.

Can't Wait

I hope I'll see you in the meeting tomorrow. It's been a long time and I've started missing you.

Adventurous

I always want to be someone adventurous. And you happened to be one.

So, would like to take me to go on an adventure with you? Maybe go for hiking or skydiving? I'd learn scuba diving, just for you.

I like you very very much.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Hi,

"Belle buat apa kat sini?"

Do you always talk that soft with women? I hope you do. Or maybe I hope you don't.

I like the way you talk to me. I feel special.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Sets

Despite what they said about you, my heart is still sets for you. And here I am chilling with my family, and I thought of how well you'd blend with us here. Honestly, I really can see you as part of my family, a part of me.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha, you.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Lessons

God is good. And He has a funny way of showing me about stuffs. An in this case, it's about you.

I don't get the chance to go back with you. And I'm okay with it because my ride home was with two person I enjoy their company the most. And from them, I learned a lot about you.

And with a lot I mean, really really so much things.

But those things made me dissapointed with you. Guess you're really that bad. Why do I always fall for someone like you?

Anyway, your visit to the room earlier this morning kinda made my day. You said hi to me and kinda talk and making jokes. I saw a lot of pictures of you, too. It really made me happy.

After all what they've said, I still like you. But I hope you'd change. Please don't be that person anymore.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Jadi.

We happened.
In my dream.


I guess that's the best way it could ever happen, anyways.

Ride

I want to hitch a ride with you. I want to go back to Kedah with you. I've asked people, but they mentioned other names. I want them to suggest that I should go back with you. But I guess, you don't give people a ride home. And I don't think that would ever happen.

I am a sad kitty :(

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Malu

Terkadang aku terasa malu sekali
kerana menyayangi sepenuh hati
sedangkan kau kelu tak mengetahui

Pasti

I am 100% sure that one of my wish about you is not going to happen. I am now officially a sad kitty.

What was I thinking?

Oh yes, I was thinking of how deeply in love I am with you.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Reality

As much as I love you,
I'll always know that we can't be together.
Not now, not ever.

And I'll try and learn to accept that.

Too Much,

Your voice is like a lullaby to my ears.
I could listen to you talk all day long, talking nonsense or even about works.
And I wouldn't mind, not even a bit
Because your voice,
your voice is my lullaby that puts me to sleep.

In Sickness And Health,

We both had a sore throat.
And I kinda like your funny voice.

Hey, Kau Si Pencuri Hati

I miss you.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Rindu.

Aku cuma mahu menghirup udara yang sama,
atau
sekadar termenung melihat kau dari kejauhan

Kenapa rindu benar hati ini pada mu?

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Beginning

Start of my day and I saw you in the pick up truck heading to God-knows-where. I'm happy to see your face first in the morning before everybody else. It lightens up my mood.

Later, I was going for the meeting as usual and I saw you in the room. You saw me and start teasing me with yesterday's joke. I love the way you call my name. It makes me sound so special. I told you that the joke should be our secret and you're suggesting that if I want to keep it as a secret, I should treat you lunch or dinner.

Good idea. If only it happens.

Confused

People keep telling me about you. About how weird you could be. How negative and how amazingly insane but annoying, and the kind of person you really are.

I was even there to witness it myself.

And I thought to myself that this could probably be signs from God showing that I shouldn't fall for someone like you.

But then you keep popping from everywhere and you know my name and you teased me like you've known me for life! And you made me happy just by smiling alone and I'm kinda feel the chemistry between us.

And yes, you are indeed very annoying.

I can't really read or decipher and translate all these signals but if I were right, you and I, we'd be good together.

Mixed Signals!

When I thought we can't stand a chance, you showed up. You called my name, teasing around with that heart-melting smiles.

I think I've just evaporate there.

You, I don't know if you had feelings for my friend or something, but whenever I look at you, my butterflies would work harder. And everytime something good would ever happen that involves you, I'd get that weird feeling.

Oh you, oh you, this is dangerous.
Way too dangerous.

:(

Aku putus asa.
Aku tak nampak bila dan di mana kita boleh bersama.
Aku penat menganyam anganku sendiri.
Aku hanya mampu memuja dari jauh

Dan berharap, suatu hari nanti Tuhan akan makbulkan doaku.

Monday, October 15, 2012

The One

I never understood when they say when you've met the right person, he/she will gives you the butterflies in stomach. Even with my ex, I never get that kind of feelings.

Until I met you.

You are one of a kind. At first, I never thought that I would ever like you. You always come off as the fierce ones. What's with your face and the way you talk. Until recently, I started to have feelings for you.

I want to look at your face. I want to know that you're just there. That would be enough for me already. Thinking of you made my the butterflies in my stomach work harder. It really is something. Looking at your face, that would made myday. It would make me happy already. When I look at your face, it gives me the feeling of calm, and peace. It's like you're my zen.

You're making me zen.

I don't know whether I like you too much or it's just a temporary crush, but whatever this feelings are, all I know is it has made me happy.

Thanks to you, I am happy and I love it. Thanks to you, the break ups felt like it's just another heavy rain in my days.

And you, you're my rainbow after the rain.

I like you so much it's impossible that this isn't love.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Come.

You're absent today.
I miss you.
Please come back tomorrow, and be safe and healthy.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Dear,

You made my heart skips a beat,
Just by thinking of you.
You gave me butterflies the whole day,
Only by seeing you for a few seconds.
You,
What have you done?

Kata Hatiku,

Kau lah jodohku.

Makbul

Semalam aku berharap dan berdoa semoga kau ada bersama di sana.
Tadi ketika sudah bersiap hendak balik, kau baru tiba.

Alhamdulillah.
Sekejap, tapi bermakna.
Sekejap, tapi aku tahu Dia mendengar.
Sekejap, tapi sekurangnya aku tahu, doaku dimakbulkan-Nya.


Selepas bertemu, hati aku pasti akan berdebar. Debar sehingga terasa sakitnya.
Sakit yang indah.
Sakit yang aku suka.
Sakit kerana terlalu gembira.

Tuhan, mungkinkah dia yang aku tunggu?

Friday, October 12, 2012

My Bed Time Story

I could write a novel about you.
A chapter on your dazzling smile.
A chapter just about your eyes.
Probably two or three chapters just about the way you blushed.
And the storyline about me obsessing you.

Okay now I sound like a creep.
I love you. I want you.

Debar.

Hati aku sekarang suka berdegup kencang tak tentu hala.
Aku ingat pasti dia lelaki penipu itu punya angkara.
Tapi sebenarnya bila difikir kembali,
Hati aku datang debarnya bila anganku mengharap kau akan datang ke tempat aku pergi
Atau ketika aku cuma mengharapkan kau.
Hai kau,
hati ini benar telah jatuh jauh.

Your Eyes.

Rindu.

Harapnya aku dapat jumpa kau esok. Harapnya kau ada bersama.

Harapnya impian aku jadi nyata.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

11:11

I found myself wishing for you when the clock reaches 11:11.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I want you.

Don't

You're still coughing. I heard it. It was bad.

Please get well soon :(

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Flushed, Blushed.

It was my presentation. My last minute, super simple presentation that would make me the biggest joke in the meeting. Serve me right for not being prepared and afraid. I don't care. I just want to be done. I'm not going to present next week. I want to finish my presentation. That's all I care for now.

But I forgot something. The most important thing of all. The fact that I know you're going to attend the meeting. I know you're going to be there. And there I was, ready to make a fool of myself. I just don't care. I want to be done.

I was so nervous that I answered the nature call first before attending the meeting. And when I stepped into the room, the first thing I did was looking for you. And there you were, looking not bothered sitting beside my used-to-be-favourite technician.

Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous.

The meeting went as usual. Until it was my turn to present. I was up and standing explaining the general and simplest knowledge I know about O-ring. As I stood there showing pictures and throwing words, looking around for the nods of approval by the other engineers and technicians, I saw you giving your attention to my simple presentation. You put your phone aside and you listened.

You listened to the stuffs I was mumbling.

Then there was the Q&A session. They asked me about the materials and thank goodness, I've read about it and answered "Mostly they are elastomers".

And then I heard you saying something. I looked at you. I want to enjoy the view. I want to look at your face, the same I want to look in your eyes. You're saying something about NBR, the materials, and whatnots and I tried to focus. Honestly, I can only grabbed a few things but the last word. And being me, I was like,

"Huh?"

You repeat your last sentence.

"Huh?"

You repeat it again.

I made faces. I seriously can't hear you. Mostly it's due to your beautiful smile and my lack of focus upon seeing that dashing smile you always have.

"Speak louder lah. With the ladies you spoke very gently eh?" I heard people teasing you.

And I saw that. THAT.

You blushed!

Oh my God! It's like I've never seen anyone blushed before. I never knew you could blushed. Your face was red, or probably pink, and it's so..how could I put it? It so, handsomely beautiful and adorable.

And you smiled too. Showing those dazzling teeth you have. I stood there looking at you. And put that sheepish smile on my face. I totally feel and thinks that I looked like and idiot there.

After that, many of them trying to answer and help me with their knowledge. But I was looking for you, and you're out of reach again. You looked down and about but not at me. And I knew right there and then that I probably have to pray for miracles to see that face of yours to blush again.

But hey, I was grateful. At least I could enjoy the view. And to make it better, it was the greatest start of my morning so far. Seeing you blushed, and laughed, and smiled.

Okay, I gotta admit that I was smiling all along while writing this. I am hoping to see you blush again.

Rephrasing, I was looking forward to it, and to the smiles, and most important of all, to you. I was looking forward for my wishes of you to come true.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

You, What Have You Done?

Just the thought of you, and the sight of you could give me thousands or even millions of butterflies in my stomach.

Oh you, oh you, I want you for me. Be mine. All mine.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Please.

I've been daydreaming too much about you. And it's not really a good thing. Because you're taking too many of my time and you don't even know it. I spend my time worrying about you when I really don't have any idea how your life could affect me that much.

Love? I don't think so.

Obsession? Perhaps.

Anyway, I'm really wishing/hoping/praying that my wish of you would come true. Please God, this one wish. Please let it be happening. I beg you. Please make my wish come true.

Urm I need rephrasing, my wishes of you. Please make it come true.

Amin. Amin. Amin.

Care

It's true that when you really, truely love/like a person, you'll go gaga on them and really, really care for what they are doing/feeling.

I heard you coughing just now and all that I'm feeling is I want you to get better. I'll take away the pain, just for you.

Or even be your remedy.

I just want you to be healthy.

God, please ease him, and please let him be healthy again.

Maybe it's only a crush, but I do want my crush to be healthy and happy.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Favourite Subject

Hey, it seems that I can't resist talking about you. You know, if I were given a chance, I would like to have a nice late night talks with you. I want to get to know you better, to know all your secrets and hopes. Listening to your favourite songs, and talking about your favourite books, and your favourite childhood memories. It's gonna be a very long talk and the only thing we'd talk about is gonna be about you.

I want to learn everything about you, my favourite subject.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Nom Nom

Well, I was eating my free lunch when you came all smiling for the free food.

If only you noticed how big my grin was when I saw you. And to add more to my happy day, you sit in front of me. Well, yes not exactly in front of me, but at least you made it easier for me to take a glimpse of you.

And to be honest, I can't take my eyes off you.

Oh, I was hoping there's no psychic in the house cause if there was one, I'll be doomed. I was imagining it as our lunch together. Hah! Eating with a crush could always made a girl's day even if it means only sharing table.

What's more surprising is when you asked me, "Bella nak tambah lagi ke?" when I took another bite of tomato. You melt my heart and automatically made the tomato taste like it's the most delicious tomato ever.

I'm totally can't stop smiling. All giddy up inside.

But, you made that remarks. Surprisingly, I don't get offended at all. Perhaps it's because I like you too much. Or maybe I thought that just the way you are.

Whatever it is, I'm still thankful for the wonderful day I had and the brief moment with you. :)

Thank you, God. For listening to my prayer. It made my day. Alhamdulillah :D

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Hey,

The eyes, the intense look, the smile.


That particular smile.



Lalu aku jatuh, lagi, dan lagi, dan lagi.

In My Mind

Why can't I stop thinking of you? I don't want to tweet about you. I want you to be my secret. Because I keep wishing and praying that you and I are going to be a reality.


If I have to wait, for you, I'll wait a thousand years.

I Don't Want To Talk About You At First,

But I started to think that I've fall for you more than I should. And, what's more important is nobody knows about it. You are my favourite secret now. Actually you're more to a secret wish - a wish I really really hope that would be granted by God.


I want to pray that you'd be the right one for me. But let's not meddle with His bussiness, right?



p/s: I love your smile. I wish could keep it. Well, at least I've keep it here, in my heart.


Oh my dear you, you make me sounds so cliche!

"Bella.."

I will remember this date.
The first time you talked to me with a sweet smile on your face. I know you have your eyes on my friend, but that won't stop me from admiring you from afar.
God, you had me when you called my name "Bella". You make it sounds beautiful. You make it a perfect name for me. You just make the name sounds so right.


Well, it does. Especially when it comes from you.


Thank you God. This made my day. :)

It's Such A Shame For Us To Part

But never mind. I think this is the best for both of us. Even though you had me replaced after three weeks, I guess it won't be a problem. It's your nature anyway. Good luck in your future undertakings. If our paths cross one more time, I hope it happens when we both are happy with our own life and family, insyAllah.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

No Words Can Describe What I'm Feeling Now

Sekarang aku dah jumpa blog kau. Ya Allah, rindunya aku dekat kau. Kau dah berubah. Aku suka dengan perubahan kau tu, perubahan ke arah kebaikan, semakin matang.

Aku juga yang tak terarah kepada kebaikan.

Pasti aku akan cemburu dengan bakal isteri kau.

:)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

YES!

Finally, aku rasa aku dah jumpa facebook kau setelah mencari sekian lama.

Tapi, aku tak pasti itu kau atau orang lain.

Nak add, ke tak add?




Takut.